need to create meaning and leaning is to make a better human being
** Found this very fruitful and interesting post in FB and I think I should share it everywhere I could 😉
During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”
The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind
replied the author.
Here’s the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.
People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.
The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.
People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):
The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.
Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.
Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.
Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥
I always think that psychology is a mind blowing subject/ topic to learn or to do a study on. But, I just don’t understand why did I flung my Introduction to Psychology subject when I was in my first year first semester. Whyyy laaaaa?? Maybe because I don’t like reading back then. Maybe~ Or may be I should insert some psychology elements in my future phd paper.
And I watch this movie last week. I really disappointed with the story line because there are only elements of surprise and less action in the movie. I can say that it is really a boring movie to watch. There is no X-Factor in that movie.
I have attended a film screening by Amnesty International Malaysia’s Youth Network, the event was held in conjunction with the International Women’s Day. They have particularly selected a film title ‘Precious’ based on the Novel ‘Push’ written by Sapphire.
The movie summary:
(Courtesy of Wikipedia) It is about a young girl name Claireece Jones living in Harlem 1987- who goes by her middle name Precious – an illiterate, overweight black girl. She is pregnant with her second child, both children fathered by her biological father, who has continually raped her since she was a child, but whom she doesn’t see otherwise. Her infant daughter, Mongo – such named since she has down syndrome – lives with Precious’ grandmother. Precious lives with her mother Mary, who abuses Precious both physically and emotionally. Mary does nothing but smoke, watch television and collect welfare through fraud (as she doesn’t ever look for a job) and believes that education does nothing for Precious, who she would rather also collect welfare if only to bring money into the household.
Everybody have their own dreams and it is not easy to live your dreams with the society expectation. Where are you when you are sixteen? I guess you are not pregnant with your second child rite? Do you have to take care of the house chores when you are sixteen? Or you are outside playing games and having fun with your friends? As for me, when I was sixteen, I was so into Backstreet Boys, N’sync and all the boy bands that are famous at that time and I don’t even went to the kitchen to help my mom with the house chores. My mom will never nag about that, she wont even say anything about it. Well, I guess I’m a spoilt brat back than and my life is such a blessing for having all the family and friend who loves me unconditionally.
Different people will face different kind of test in life. As for Precious, she has to skip her adolescent phase just because of her mother. Even when she has an irresponsible mother but she still live with her and help her mother with the house chores. What would you do if you are in her shoes? Yes, they have social workers that might help the families that facing family problems but how far they can help? How many percentage does the social worker can solve certain family problem? They can only give advice and suggest things to do, they could not solve the entire problem that the family face. The problem could only be solve from the within.
What would you do if people look down on you and treat you they way they wish to? How would you react when people said whatever they want to say or to mock you? Would you just let it be or would you fight back and back yourself up? No matter what happen to you, you will only have yourself to stand for yourself. People would not be there to back you up all the time. You need to learn to be strong and confidence with yourself despite of your size and age. Women nowadays need to know how to build your confidence in todays developing world. There is no doubt about the world is being more cruel day by day and there is no point of complaining All you can do is deal with it. No matter how rough the path is stay strong and move one. Women can run the world! Have no doubt on that!
The youths of the Amnesty International Malaysia Youth Network are campaigning against the abuse on women, which isn’t determined by status, background, culture and/or gender. It happens all the time, in all context of life. Our modernity and intellect do not stop these abuses from occurring, and we should be aware for that.
“Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”